死体にしたい?
んー、敬遠していたマイナー領域、猟奇の世界も…。まだ内蔵とかはあんまりだけど、首絞めでならはぁはぁできるようになった。でもやぱり自分がされる(可愛いコとして)イメージでないと無理無理。いや他のでも傷つける側に回るのはダメですがの。マゾだから。
でもねぇ…、ホント、死んだらマゾ気分を満たすこともできないのにねぇ…。剥製にされて曝されちゃったり。埋まらない違和感はどうにも。でもえろい。
怖るるべきは、つまりそう言った表現をする方々が、ノーマリティを持って存在するということ。普通の人は表現は表現と割り切れるもんなのだろーか?まあ私も特殊な方であることは認めるけれども。
その中での救いは、美しいものに対してしか行われないという基本構造だろうか。いや、それを外れた単なる狂気ならばもっと容易く関われるのだけれど。彼らの意識を包含するにはいかにすべきか。なんか悔しいし。
まあ、体の一挙手一投足全ての支配権を捧げたいと思えるような人に出会えれば、ある程度の答えもでるのかしらん?彼らへの正逆として。…インパクトへの完全な論理化による防衛だねこれは。あたしゃ弱いし。
この記事のトラックバックURL
http://www.y-tanuki.sakura.ne.jp/cgi/blog/tb.cgi/27
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