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名前 ： ﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟ｲﾐび墟ﾂﾐ｡窶｢ﾐﾐ�ﾐｲﾐび厰陳ｬﾐﾐ社｡窶慴ﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐﾂﾐｲﾐつｦﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐﾂﾐ｡邃｢ﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐ窶厰陳ｫ
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<< 2006年3月の記事 >>

寝たらすっきりするかなあ

　今日はどうにかこうにかこぎつけて書ける状態になったと思ったのに・。ささいなことでぐちゃぐちゃになったやって。
　どうしてこうも私は少しのことに振り回されるんだろうと思うけど…ほんと昔からだし、かといってそれによって行動を爆発させるなんてことなくて。
　先日のテレビで前頭葉の活動が低下していると切れたりして社会的な行動が難しくなるっていうのをやってたけど…。私もそうなのかと思ってみても、たぶんそれだけじゃなくて。むしろ制御する力は強い衝動を押さえ込めるだけの力があるから…でも裡からも外からも起こるものに対してはすごく敏感だし。ああもう…わかんないや。
　こんなの今後もずっと抱えていくと思うとしんどいけど、どうにかこうにかしてなくしてしまうのも恐ろしいというか勿体ないというか。折角こうなったのならば、ここから学び取れるもの・得られるもの全て、そしてそれ以上に自分のものにしたいし。そうでなきゃ苦労した意味ないじゃないですか。埋め合わせだけじゃ悔しいもの。
　嗚呼、愚かなり我が身。されど愛おしきかな…なーんて。そんなに自己愛にふける余裕、今はないんですけどね…。
　ともかく今日はもう寝て、明日状態が改善するのを狙います。なんも出来ない状態に戻ってしまう可能性大ですけど…たぶん、なんとか。

by ﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟ｲﾐび墟ﾂﾐ｡窶｢ﾐﾐ�ﾐｲﾐび厰陳ｬﾐﾐ社｡窶慴ﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐﾂﾐｲﾐつｦﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐﾂﾐ｡邃｢ﾐﾐ�ﾐ窶墟｡邃｢ﾐ窶厰陳ｫ │2006/03/28 23:21 │ │Comment(0) │Trackback(96)
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http://www.y-tanuki.sakura.ne.jp/cgi/blog/tb.cgi/188

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